Lend Me Your Ear

Listen up, I want you all to
Hear what I have to say.
Don't worry about questioning
Me, things will work out either way.
I'm just righteous and good
And righteous, and in case I didn't mention,
I've never told a lie,
And never stolen my grandma's pension.

On the outside, I'm eating with kings,
I'm dining with the lords of the land,
I wear only the finest clothes,
I only wear designer brands.

On the inside, I'm certainly loyal,
I've always been kind to the common folk,
I'm generous with my money,
I'll probably be famous by the time I croak.

Well, don't pay any mind to that
Propaganda, you know they don't like me,
And I don't know why, since I'm so good
And righteous and good and clean.
I'll wag a skinny finger at them,
A starving finger at that,
I haven't eaten in almost 3 weeks,
'Cause I'm afraid of getting fat.

Well, I told you before, this is all true,
Just take my word, take it from me.
I've never been broke, I've never been bad,
I've never been unclean.
I just want to make a good impression,
No matter if they don't last,
I just want to get your story straight,
Now, stop me if I'm talking too fast.

Well, I keep a box by my nightstand,
And in it are wonderful things,
Er, terrible things, don't pay any mind,
They'd ruin me and all human beings.

Maybe here and there,
I don't say the right thing,
But I've always told the truth,
It makes the angels sing.

You may not believe me,
But that's between you and God,
'Cause if you can't prove me wrong,
Then you can't prove I'm a fraud.
I'm not admitting to anything,
'Cause I never tell any lies,
But if I catch you near my nightstand,
Even the angels will hear your cries.

So let me smile and wave to the people,
Don't ruin all of my fun,
'Cause I always tell the truth,
And I won't be stopped by anyone.